Tag Archives: stress

Season 4 Episode 12: Season Wrap up And Christmas Special

Posted on by under Cross Cultural, Mental Health, podcast, Podcast, Shop Talk, Uncategorized

Join Brandi and James as they review the highlights of the podcasts from last year. With 12 episodes, they had many wonderful guests covering a broad range of topics impacting cross-cultural workers. This episode ends with three guest spots sharing stories of their holiday memories living cross-culturally. Meet our Guests below or in the podcast!

Eve Austin lived for 20 years living in Tajikistan and Turkey with my family from 1996-2016. During that time, she was a mom, missionary, educator, and entrepreneur. She transitioned into counseling in 2013 and worked abroad with culturally diverse populations, including refugees and survivors of human trafficking. Her life and work overseas provides her with understanding and empathy to journey with clients from diverse backgrounds through the challenges of transition, relocation, and cultural adjustment. https://eveaustin.com

Lisette Gabre is an extroverted Swede who moved to Asia almost thirty years ago with her husband and at that three very little children. She raised her three TCKs in Asia from baby to 18. The kids are now grown and she is a grandmother of six. Lisette has been involved in member care since she prepared to move to the field. Presently her pillow and husband are in Chiang Mai Thailand, but she serves the world as the TCK and Family Care Specialist for OM International.

Anna Danforth is an author, TCK advocate, and traveling speaker/trainer with TCK Training. Growing up in Cameroon as a third culture kid, she developed a deep passion for helping global families thrive in cross-cultural environments. Anna holds a degree in Secondary French Education and an MAEd in Instruction and Curriculum. Married to her high school sweetheart from DR Congo, Anna and her husband raised their two children in Lesotho and South Africa, where they continue to work in education and job skills training.

Season 4 Episode 9: Book Club! Emotionally Healthy Spirituality for Cross-Cultural Workers

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Join Brandi and James as they share thoughts from Pete Scazzaro’s book Emotionally Healthy Spirituality. They discuss the book’s principles and practices and how they apply to cross-cultural workers.

Family Retreat Activities: Here are some activities for families to do together, including a family genogram.

Here is a resource for anyone who would like to do a supervision genogram.

Supervision Genogram and Cultural Genogram ArticleDownload

A deeper dive into making your own genogram

Genogram_SLE+editDownload

Peter Scazzero learned the hard way: you can’t be spiritually mature while remaining emotionally immature. Even though he was the pastor of a growing church, he did what most people do–avoid conflict in the name of Christianity; ignore his anger, sadness, and fear; use God to run from God; and live without boundaries.

Eventually God awakened him to a biblical integration of emotional health and the spiritual practice of slowing down and quieting your life for to experience a firsthand relationship with Jesus. It created nothing short of a spiritual revolution in Scazzero, in his church, and now in thousands of other churches.

In his updated edition, Scazzero shares new stories and principles as he outlines his journey and the signs of emotionally unhealthy spirituality. Then, he provides seven biblical, reality-tested steps to become emotionally mature:

Season 4 Episode 7: Working with Cross-Cultural Teams with Stephanie Schwarz

Posted on by under Cross Cultural, Mental Health, podcast, Podcast, Shop Talk, Uncategorized

Join Brandi and James as they talk to Stephanie Schwarz. She is a Registered Psychologist working with individuals, families, couples, and children. She enjoys building relationships in communities, connecting with schools, providing supervision, and supporting people negotiating international transitions. Today the conversation is about the challenges with cross-cultural teams. This includes navigating conflict and much more.

Culture Value Cards

These cards were created by Stephanie Schwarz to help have valuable conversations about some of the values that need navigating cross-culturally. These would be a great resource to use in training or developing new staff who are about to be working cross-culturally. This includes traditional expatriate staff and local staff new to working in an international organization. Contact her at stephanie.schwarz@sim.org.

The Peace Maker

Ken Sande presents practical biblical guidance for conflict resolution that takes you beyond resolving conflicts to true, life-changing reconciliation with family, coworkers, and fellow believers.

Peace Wise

A peacemaker is someone who is equipped to bring peace to conflict, restoration to damaged relationships, and the hope of Jesus in difficult situations. Peace Wise helps individuals, organisations and communities learn life-changing biblical peacemaking principles and build cultures of peace.

We invite you to join us in this journey.
https://peacewise.org.au/

Season 4 Episode 6: Attachment Styles and Our relationship to God with Dr. Ted Wueste

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Join Brandi and James as they interview Dr. Ted Wueste on Attachment Theory and how it impacts our relationship with God. You can find more about Ted at https://desertdirection.com.

“attachment theory, in developmental psychology, the theory that humans are born with a need to form a close emotional bond with a caregiver and that such a bond will develop during the first six months of a child’s life if the caregiver is appropriately responsive.”- John Bowlby

When discussing attachment, we are talking about something that is part of God’s design in how he made us. Jesus, in scripture, has all of the commands summed up into loving God and loving each other. This is attachment and a bond between people. Being made in the image of God, the Trinity, is to have the ability to bond and connect in the same way. Attachment theory can give people a better handle on what God is talking about with the word love. This word is Hesed (חָסַד )in Hebrew and is often translated as Loving Kindness. Attachment theory is incredibly helpful for those seeking to walk with God to understand how. – Ted Wueste

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” –  Jesus, Matthew 11:28-30 (MSG)

Krispin Mayfield, in Attached to God, suggests that ambivalent, avoidant, and disorganized attachments can be understand as relating to God … 

  • Anxious attachment/spirituality
  • Shut-down attachment/spirituality
  • Shame-Filled attachment/spirituality

The movement toward secure attachment to God (grace, safety, freedom) (Mayfield):

  • From anxiety to rest
  • From shut-down to engagement
  • From shame to delight

Season 4 Episode 1: The Transition of Retirement with Shonna Ingram

Posted on by under Cross Cultural, Mental Health, podcast, Podcast, Shop Talk, Uncategorized

Join Brandi and James as they interview Shonna Ingram about transitions and retirement. It can often be a taboo subject but can be an opportunity to celebrate a different life stage and is worth planning for.

“Retirement is a hard transition for people. It may not be only the re-entry or retirement issue; it could be some of the other layers connected to the process, too.”

Shonna Ingram is an experienced practitioner and trainer, working with cross-cultural workers. She found herself becoming an expert in life transitions over the past 15 years. Recently, she has been asked outside the cross-cultural worker’s circle for resources she has been providing for years. This led her to create the Renewed Hope Approach. 

Amid the complexities of life, trauma can cast its shadow in various forms. At Shonna Ingram Consulting, we recognize the vital importance of integrating Christian faith with trauma-informed care. Our approach acknowledges that healing and renewal extend beyond addressing the mind alone. By combining mental health principles with the transformative power of Biblical teachings, we bridge the gap between understanding and healing. In a world that’s no stranger to pain and uncertainties, our commitment is to offer a safe haven where faith and practical solutions converge, leading to holistic recovery. Explore the need for Christian trauma-informed care and discover the path to renewed hope.

Visit her website to learn more! https://shonnaingram.com/

Season 3 Episode 12: 2023 Wrap up

Posted on by under Cross Cultural, Mental Health, podcast, Podcast, Shop Talk, Uncategorized

Join Brandi and James as they wrap up 2023 with some highlights, trends, and what they look forward to next year. One way to incorporate this same idea yourself or with your family would be through the practice of an Examen. Pausing to notice the highs and lows of the year and to write down things that are worth holding on to.

Resources

The Ignatian Examen

St. Ignatius invites us to find God in all things. That means we have to pay careful attention to how the Spirit is moving in each moment of our daily lives. We have to take a magnifying glass to the seemingly ordinary, seeking to encounter the Divine. 

That’s why the Examen is such a powerful prayer. In it, we’re invited to encounter God, express gratitude for the gift and gifts of each day, and to commit to make up for any mistakes we may have made. 

The Examen is a flexible prayer, too, responding to the signs of the times. Below, you’ll find several variations to meet your need in this moment

Ignatian Exercises

practicing-the-examen-with-childrenDownload
daily-prayer-of-examenDownload

Essentials for People Care and Development

Practical insights and activities to help your organization build a thriving culture.

Finding, sending, and caring for missionaries has grown increasingly complex for mission leaders and staff. The mission world is more multicultural and global crises seem to be more frequent. And we can no longer make the same assumptions about shared values which can open the door for legal difficulties. We all want to see ministry staff thriving and serving the kingdom to their full potential, but how can we support that? In this book, you will be able to dig deeper into these fundamental issues and more.

Member care workers collaborated with us to bring practical insights that will help you and your agencies. No matter where you fit on the spectrum of care – a concerned pastor, missionary colleague, or ministry leader all the way to a professional services provider – this book and its contents will help you implement improvements in caring for ministry staff.

Leave a comment

Season 3 Episode 11: Mindfulness with Bethann Miller

Posted on by under Cross Cultural, Mental Health, podcast, Podcast, Shop Talk, Uncategorized

Bethann is the co-founder and CEO of Safe Place, a ministry that provides support, training, care, and guidance to folks serving in Christ-centered ministry throughout the world. She is also a licensed chaplain, board-certified pastoral counselor, and author of “The Invitation,” a handbook that sets the stage for couples to engage in deeper relational connection.

After serving for over 30 years in full time ministry and traveling to over 53 countries, it is Bethann’s joy to support pastors, missionaries, and leaders in that to which they have set their hands. Beyond this, Bethann can be found either out riding her motorcycle ‘Pearl’ or at home with her husband Tom and their two cats watching the national football league channel.

Season 3 Episode 9: Autism and Neurodivergence among Cross-Cultural Workers and their Families.

Posted on by under Cross Cultural, Mental Health, podcast, Podcast, Shop Talk

Join Brandi and James as they interview Chyrl Mullins, an Educational Consultant with Wycliffe. They talk about Autism spectrum signs, symptoms, and treatments. They also look at how to navigate the world of ASD from the perspective of families and co-workers. Understanding more about neurodivergence and the range of experience with ASD increases the grace and capacity of neurotypical people in their families and communities.

https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/symptoms/23154-neurodivergent

https://www.autismspeaks.org/what-autism

Season 3 Episode 8: Expectations

Posted on by under Cross Cultural, Mental Health, podcast, Podcast, Shop Talk
  • Be aware of the “Shoulds” that can control your life.
  • “All of life’s frustrations come from unmet expectations“- Dr. John Lund
  • Cross Cultural Servanthood by Duane Elmer
  • Atlas of the Heart by Brene Brown

Cross-Cultural Worker Expectations Worksheet – by James Covey, MA LPC-S

Step 2: Invitations

Internal Expectations

A) Give grace to myself or others. Is my expectation unrealistic? Is this person
able to give me what I need at this time? Do my expectations need to be
adjusted?
B) Release, surrender or grieve an unmet expectation. Do I need to release the
timing of something, confess an unrealistic standard, release the way I think
something should be done, need to suspend judgment about a person or
situation, people group, or grieve that I may not see that expectation fulfilled?
C) Explore deeper healing around a theme. I am aware this expectation is linked
to an area where I need healing. As God has raised my awareness this week, I
want to surrender to Him anew AND have a conversation with someone about
how to pursue healing more deeply.
D) Praise God for His mercy. I’m realizing my expectations have been exceeded
in some areas! I want to take some time to worship and thank Him for His
kindness to me.
E) Redirect my misplaced hopes towards God. I’m realizing how externally
focused I am on getting my needs and desires met. The Lord is inviting me to
release others and turn my focus back on Him as the source of my hope.

External invitations
1) Help in the fog. I don’t know if my expectation is realistic OR I can’t find the
expectation or don’t know how to resolve an unmet expectation. I need someone
to help me explore what is happening on a particular situation.
2) Call to action. Do I need to clarify an expectation with others, have a
conversation about my disappointment, or mirror back to someone a theme I see
in someone’s life around expectations?
3) I need others. This expectation is realistic but I’m having trouble moving
forward. I may be hitting a deeply ingrained attitude or behavior OR see this as
an issue of character development. I need coaching, accountability, prayer, or
counsel.

Make Adjustments Step 3

  • Having done the internal and external invitations; now I need to rewrite or adjust my
    expectations. Changing the expectations to live in the reality of what is now (Step 3)

Season 3 Episode 6: Compassion Fatigue with Mark Ventrella

Posted on by under Cross Cultural, Mental Health, podcast, Podcast, Shop Talk, Uncategorized

Compassion Fatigue

“It is impossible to be close to suffering and not be impacted by it” – Mark Ventrella.

“Most healthcare providers enter the field with the intent to help others and provide empathic care for patients with critical physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs. Healthcare providers, however, can be impacted by the continuing stress of meeting the often overwhelming needs of patients and their families which may result in compassion fatigue. ” https://proqol.org

One could easily substitute Cross-Cultural workers for health care providers in this definition as often they are in positions of caring for those around them. The ProQOL is an excellent source for assessing burnout, compassion fatigue, and compassion satisfaction.

 Professional Quality of Life (proQOL) is intended for any helper – cross-cultural workers, health care professionals, social service workers, teachers, attorneys, emergency response, etc. Understanding the positive and negative aspects of helping those who experience trauma and suffering can improve your ability to help them and your ability to keep your own balance.   https://proqol.org

Season 3 Episode 3: Navigating the Neutral Zone with Dr. Stephen Jones

Posted on by under Cross Cultural, Mental Health, podcast, Podcast, Shop Talk, Uncategorized

Why do they call it the neutral zone?? it doesn’t feel neutral at all its just hard! Join Brandi and James as they talk to Dr. Stephen Jones about his research, books and personal experience with navigating transition. They cover the range of the transition experience and talk tools and practical steps for healthy transitions. Imagine if one can only function at 70-80% of your underlying capacity when living cross culturally what does accounting for that difference look like?

Stephen W. Jones is father of three and husband of one. He works to see transformation in the lives of individuals, communities, and the world. He yearns to see beauty rise out of pain, and believes that rooting lives in eschatological hope sets people free.

Jones teaches, trains, and studies at the intersection of intercultural relations, cross-cultural ministry, and political science. He is a Ph.D. Candidate in International Development at the University of Southern Mississippi and earned his M.A. in Intercultural Relations from the University of the Pacific, in conjunction with the Intercultural Communication Institute.

He was formerly Assistant Professor of International Studies at Crown College in Minnesota, where he oversaw the Center for Global Engagement and the International Relations (B.A.) and Intercultural Youth Development (B.S.) majors.

Podcasts by Stephen:

Books by Stephen:

Season 3 Episode 1: Conflict Resolution with Dr. Janeen Davis

Posted on by under Cross Cultural, Mental Health, podcast, Podcast, Shop Talk, Uncategorized

Join Brandi and James as they interview Dr. Janeen Davis to figure out why we can’t all just get along! Janeen shares about her experience as a cross cultural worker and care provider and how she found the Peace Pursuit Quickstart Guide and shifted from being a conflict avoider to a peace pursuer.

Janeen Davis, PsyD, MFT, has served overseas in a large global ministry since 2007, where she led a Member  Care team in providing care and support for personnel throughout Asia whenever they experienced personal struggles, difficult team dynamics, and family needs.

In 2020, Covid forced her to evacuate her Asian home and transition back to the States, where she now  partners with Peace Pursuit International as a Master Practitioner and Trainer and serves as the Director of Counseling for a church in TN. She founded Purpose & Peace Solutions to be a center point for specialized  ministry services, through which she provides executive consulting, conference presentations, group trainings, creative development of media and marketing resources, and also offers virtual care for missionaries and Christ followers around the world. She can be reached at https://www.purposeandpeace.com for member care, training and retreats, conflict resolution, ministry consultations and counseling.

Find out more about the Peace Pursuits Model.

It all begins with the Quickstart Guide and the question… Do you want to resolve a relational problem?

If so, you’ve come to the right place. People from many cultures and age groups have used our QUICK START GUIDE to help resolve their interpersonal conflicts.

Experience shows that if both parties in a conflict prayerfully, thoughtfully, and sincerely complete the QUICK START GUIDE, they will reach appropriate confession and forgiveness in the vast majority of situations.

Even if only one party completes the QUICK START GUIDE, the probability of reaching peace is greatly increased.

Remember: proceed prayerfully, thoughtfully, and sincerely.

Visit the https://peacepursuit.org/Peace Pursuit‘s website to find out more

Season 2 Episode 9: Care During Covid; What We Learned From The Pandemic

Posted on by under Cross Cultural, Mental Health, podcast, Podcast, Shop Talk, Uncategorized

Join Brandi and James as they discuss James’ recent research and presentation on what the global staff care and counseling community have learned from the pandemic about caring staff. Not all of the changes that have impacted our cross cultural workers have been negative and many we need to keep doing. In many ways our cross cultural workers have benefited most in some of the ways the world has responded to the mental health impacts of the pandemic. It is key for those in care positions for remote staff to capitalize on those opportunities.

4 Lessons from the Pandemic

  • Lesson 1: Virtual Engagement
  • Lesson 2: Working Remotely
  • Lesson 3: Mental Health Impacts
  • Lesson 4: Collaboration  

Click Here to View James’ Presentation

Thanks to Alex_MakeMusic from Pixabay and Dee-Yank-Kee for the free Christmas music in the podcast!

Season 2 Episode 3 “The Couch” with Paula Wong

Posted on by under Cross Cultural, Mental Health, podcast, Podcast, Shop Talk

Join Shop Talk with Brandi and James as they talk with Paula Wong about her work with cross cultural workers. Dr. Wong was trained in Australia and now lives in Switzerland where she covers a broad range of issues in her Counseling Practice primarily with cross cultural workers. Through her work Paula holds an unshakable hope for healing both individuals and relationships. Part of her training includes a psychoanalysis approach and sometimes she says, people need to just get on the couch!

Burnout!

Posted on by under Podcast, Shop Talk, Uncategorized
Podcast Episode 2

Subscribe to “Shop Talk” a podcast with Brandi and James and listen to their second episode. Available on Apple Podcast and Android and GooglePlay

What is Burnout?

“an extended period of time where someone experiences exhaustion and a lack of interest in things, resulting in a decline in their job performance.” “In those situations, the demands being placed on you exceed the resources you have available to deal with the stressors.”- David Ballard.

Certain amounts of stress can be positive resulting in peak performance. However, eventually more stress does not result in more productivity. There is a point where excess stress results in a decrease in productive resulting in fatigue, discouragement and Burnout.

Symptoms of Burnout 

  • Social 
    • Withdrawing from others
    • Cynicism about self, others, work
    • Lowered frustration tolerance
    • Interpersonal Problems 
  • Cognitive 
    • difficulty concentrating 
    • forgetfulness (long term and short term memories)
  • Physical 
    • Health; blood pressure, tight muscles, 
    • Exhaustion, Loss of energy
    • Getting sick more often and easier 
  • Work 
    • Withdrawing from responsibilities
    • Lack of Motivation
    • Feeling of failure vocationally
    • Reduced sense of satisfaction or reward for hard work
    • Sense of helplessness
    • Belief you are no longer effective
    • Generally Decreased Satisfaction
    • Falling behind with an inability to catch back up, resulting in being more behind
    • Sense of Shame (feeling of failure) 
    • Feeling helpless, trapped and defeated

What to do

  • Recognize – Watch for the warning signs of burnout
  • Reverse – Undo the damage by seeking support and managing stress
  • Resilience – Build your resilience to stress by taking care of your physical and emotional health

Some Things to help reverse symptoms of burnout. If you can’t imagine having the energy to do any of these things seek help from a counselor, coach or friend. 

  • Take rest/relaxation seriously- do the things that rest our body, mind or soul
  • Margin/Boundaries – say no to things. The challenge with this is sometimes saying ‘no’ results in feelings of shame “I’m not good enough”. Don’t buy in, burnout happens from overextending one’s abilities 
  • Cultivate a rich non work life – church, friends, family, community 
  • Sleep– good, restful sleep. It might even be helpful to monitor your sleep for a week and see how many hours of quality sleep you are getting. 
  • Organization – it may be worth not doing other things in order to plan out a day, week or month in a way that seems more sustainable 
  • Physical health; eating right, sleeping enough and well, getting exercise 
  • Social Awareness – Know when its you, and when its them
  • Find new friends.– Perhaps your networks is small, unavailable or negative